Poor Mommy....

So I'm just going to post today b/c I want to pull my hair out and I needed somewhere to just put it all out there. Simply put I want to bash my head against a wall...real nice huh?

Luke is sleeping better and that's a huge blessing. He's adjusting well and after some issues with his bowel movements etc we're finally back on track where that is concerned as well. The problem is, and though I love her to pieces....Caroline. I literally spend all day some days saying "No Caroline. Stop Caroline. Dont do that Caroline. Don't touch him like that Caroline. Too rough Caroline. Listen to Mommy Caroline. Stop running Caroline. Gentle Caroline.". I am a friggin BROKEN record and I"m exhausted. I can NOT get her to listen to me. I've tried talking quietly and gently. I've tried yelling. I've tried being firm without yelling. I've tried ignoring her. I've tried EVERYTHING and all day long she disobeys and acts mean towards me. Takes the boppy from me right when I need it (which I know is about her brother)...pushes the swing when I ask her not to do it b/c the baby is asleep (again, about her brother) and its just totally exhausting. Sometimes she gets in outright destructive mode where she is so mad that she just does anythign to show how mad she is. Slams a door, stomps her foot, throws a picture, pulls on the curtains, takes everything off the fridge in a fury...you get the picture.

Dinner time is a total battle where she puts food in her drink, throws stuff, won't eat...screams for a treat and cries when we tell her she can't have one.

I feel like she's in charge of our house and we're not.

All day long she is loud (which is okay) but I feel like I can't even get a moment to gather my thoughts to prepare for the next tantrum. I know she's 2 and this is all normal but I'm just feeling bad for myself and needed to get it out. This a.m. she was screaming, the pack and play music was on, the infant seat was vibrating and playing music, luke was fussing, I was holding him b/c the pack and play and seat didn't calm him...Caroline was singing and dancing with a loud microphone, Curious George was on, Dave was doing work on his laptop and Caroline was scribbling with a pen all over the pile of overdue bills I was trying to take care of. I just wanted to cry. Ah...just one of those days.

So anyway....what else is new?! We just got back from a great vacation...Caroline was pretty good on the trip actually and listening was our only issue about being safe in the water etc and had just a few tantrums around shower time b/c there was no tub. She was AWESOME in the car...we rented a mini van and its totally made us decide to purchase one now. We're in the process of negotiating on one now. WOOHOO. I can't wait!

Luke is sleeping really well...goes down around 8 and sleeps til 2 or 3. Then back to sleep for another 2 or 3 hours and then another 2 usually! I try to keep him up later than 8 but he just loses it before then and its a struggle with trying to put Caroline down at the same time. HE's finally in his crib and thats been really helpful for all of us I think. THOUGH, making the trek down from the third floor to the second is not that fun in the middle of the night.

During the day he's still eating every 2 and thats fine with me but I think I need to start pumping more to get more of a break. I just feel like I need some time to myself without a kid attached to me, literally. LOL.

Thanks for listening/reading my rant. I guess we all have days like that don't we? Tomorrow is a new day...but seriously if ANYONE has any advice for me, I will gladly take it and I need it. Or a good book to recommend? Anything....

So anyway, thats all I have time for now. Here are the pictures from our trip to New Hampshire!

Oh and we have a new site for our photos.

http://nealgang.shutterfly.com

xxoo

Love to you all!

xoxo,

S